9 days

It's April 9, Saturday will be 9 months.

I don't remember much of April. I seriously wasted it away on the internet watching cartoons, junk on You Tube, reading comics, chatting, totally BS-ing the time away. I think I've listened to The Ballad of the Beard for an hour of my life. Add another hour for Comb Your Beard (at Night).

I didn't look for a job, I didn't clean the house, I didn't clean out the cat's box every day. I didn't compost the banana that fell on the floor. I didn't eat 3 meals a day or even 2. I bought milk and it's currently rotting. I am too lazy to even watch LOST. I ruined my sleep again so that I'm waking in the evenings.

My accomplishments: I coloured some eggs. I ate them even after they turned rubbery. I made an internet friend. I broke my camera lens and then bought a new one. I did my laundry once and I finally cleaned up the pan in the sink that I made pizza in about a week ago. I got a haircut (my last one was 11 months ago for our wedding which didn't happen.) I returned a hoard of empties.

Fulfilling life.

Switch to the other dimension where I am married. In it P is cancer-free, we visited Australia and possibly Italy. We have full time jobs and are buying the house I'm currently renting. We play games together online and simply enjoy each other's company. We have some separate hobbies and I love watching him come home and tell me how his squash game went. We cuddle on the couch and fall asleep talking about good times from the past while planning more for the future.

I wish I could rip a hole into that dimension and climb through. In this one even I don't exist anymore. I feel like I appeared in this body a month ago and am totally faking being human.