Just A Taste

I really had a taste of the good life and now it's gone. I'm sick of this shit, I just want P back. I'm not even remotely ready to date but I already think everyone out there sucks. I kind of hated the masses anyway before this, but now I'm more bitter, more cynical. Those people I hate are still out there. They didn't get cancer. That alone proves to me there's no reason for anything, shit just happens. If things had a meaning then he would never even get a cold, and murderers and rapists would be filling up with cancer. Instead... this. BS life.

I don't even know how he was available when we met, I can't imagine a miracle like that can ever happen to me again. I don't even want it to, I wish I wasn't in this situation at all and I could just have him back.

Depressing.

I got some family photos back from 2007 today. He was in them looking so awesome and solid and cancer free and happy. We had such good times. I don't even feel like going over them now. My eyes are already sore and I'm too tired to cry again.